Challenging the Ideal: A Reflection on Social Media and Realistic Expectations

In today's social media-driven world, we easily fall prey to ideas and beliefs that we keep seeing over and over again. Social media shows us content we've previously engaged with and liked, creating an endless loop of posts and ideas that feel familiar.

So, we see this type of content, and we start believing it's the right way, the truth, the ideal. But this ideal can be so far off from our current reality. We know we'd like to get there, be this way, but alas—it feels impossible to achieve these great heights. Maybe it's a lack of time, resources, or even age and inclination. And yet, that desire to be better or more accomplished can gnaw at us.

Take Instagram, for example. I follow this amazingly fit guy who's constantly posting videos of himself lifting heavy weights and being super flexible. There's nothing wrong with aspiring to be muscular and flexible—it's good for our health. But let's be real. This guy's job is to be a fitness trainer, create online content, and sell his courses. His content plays on my fear of ageing unhealthily and subtly promises that, with one click on the 'buy' button, I can solve my problems.

Except, it rarely works like that. Sure, buying his program might give me a quick dopamine hit, but it won't magically make me as fit and flexible as he is. Unless I'm willing to train for hours every day, follow a strict diet, and dedicate years to it—and even then, I might not get the same results. Genetics matter. I'm female, for one, so I'm unlikely to achieve the same low body fat percentage he has. Plus, he's probably been at this for years while I've had a mostly sedentary lifestyle.

Reality Check

Does that mean I shouldn't try to be healthier? Of course not. But the ideal that social media implants in my head isn't realistic for me. And that's where awareness comes in. We have to accept that we're starting from where we are, with the life, education, body, and inclinations we've got. Our past choices shape us, but we can make new choices now to shape our future.

While striving for an ideal can be motivating, social media often sets us up to chase things that aren't real. It's getting harder and harder to tell what's genuine. People at 60 look like they're 25. They travel to stunning locations, drive Rolls Royces, have perfectly toned bodies, and seem to live flawless lives. But all of this is carefully curated, and it's easy to forget that we only see a highlight or reel.

What Can We Do?

1. Recognize the Illusion

Social media is designed to grab our attention, not to show us the whole truth. Most of what we see is planned, curated, and edited by professionals. It's not reality.

2. Be Honest About Where You Are

Look at your current situation and be radically honest with yourself. Self-development gurus might tell you that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. It's not true. At 50, no matter how much I train, I won't become a professional ballerina or look like a 25-year-old fitness influencer. But I can aim to be reasonably fit, get to a healthy BMI, and build strength that works for my body and my life.

3. Decide What's Doable for You

Make a list of things that fit your life. For me, I'm not willing or able to train 3-6 hours a day because:

• I have work to do
• I live with a chronic health condition
• I have a family to care for
• I need to keep my house in order
• I have a dog to take care of
• And a million other things that take precedence

But I can go to the gym 2-3 times a week, eat a primarily plant-based whole-food diet, and do a few short yoga sessions. That's doable for me. It won't turn me into a fitness model, but it will keep me healthy and fit.

4. Sort the Social Media Ideals

Look at the ideas social media puts in your head and decide which ones are realistic for you. Here's how I do it:

• Looking 25 when I'm 50? It's not doable because I'm unwilling to invest the money, time, and operations it would take. But taking care of my body and ageing gracefully? Doable.
• Building muscle and mobility like that fitness trainer? It is not doable due to the time, gender, and effort required. But going to the gym and building some muscle? Doable.
• Becoming a travel blogger or digital nomad? It is not doable for me because of my family circumstances. This idea of freedom sold to me might be aspirational, but it does not fit my life. If I dissect it, I know I really don't want to live this way.

5. Focus on Workflows, Not Goals

Instead of setting lofty goals, create workflows or process goals that lead you in the right direction. They are tangible and less stressful—and match your lifestyle. For example, my getting-fit workflow is:

• Tagging along to the gym when my husband goes because he is way more disciplined than me.
• Preparing some healthy treats on the weekends for when I get the nibbles during the week.
• Doing yoga in the evening before I go to bed.

Final Thoughts

Theodore Roosevelt's quote reminds us to embrace reality: "Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Let's stop chasing unattainable ideals and start working toward doable progress. Your goals don't have to look like anyone else's—they must be uniquely yours.